Friday, December 18, 2009

Imma just speak..

I don't want to share a word today. I just want to talk. I want to be real about how I feel. I want you to be real in response. If you do not like what I say then tell me, if you agree then share why. I might offend some people with this but that is the least of my concerns right now cause I am rollin from the heart. Lemme tell you what gets at me, eats at me, and makes me entertain the thought of not being a Christian. No, its not the world, its not money, its not a girl, or any other insta-pleasure. It is not my adversity, or sadness at times, or even doubts. The one thing that puts me off kilter and/or fires me up is Christians. Yep, thats the truth, no holds bar. Nobody has been more misunderstood than Jesus. I mean Muslims reject Him, Hindus suspect Him, Buddists ignore Him, atheists hate Him, and agnostics deny Him. But I feel like it is the people who claim to represent Him the most, "Christians", who have misunderstood Him and therefore misrepresented Him the most<--real talk.

I live in Tennessee where it is known as the part of the "Bible Belt", ya know the region of the States where people are coo-coo for Christ. But, more and more each day, I am realizing that people are just coo-coo. Now, Im no saint. I have messed up 24,792 times in my life...or somewhere around that, give or take a bunch more thousand. I admit my faults. Ask me and I will tell where I messed up. It makes me think of Tommy Boy where Chris Farley says, "Let me tell you why I suck as a salesperson." Sometimes I just want to do that, just be like, "Let me tell you why I suck at being a Christian." And after a whole day of explaining, conclude it with "you know what though, God still loves me just the same." I don't want to hide who I am, how I've messed up, or who I have been. I'm not ashamed of those things anymore. Those things remind me more and more of how in desperate need I am of a Savior. They remind of how imperfect I am, how far I fall short, and "how I suck at being a Christian". I'll never claim to be the world's greatest. I'd rather claim the title of world's worst, to be honest.

I have a lot of non-believer friends, well to put it more accurately, non-caring about believing friends. They admit that there is a God but thats...about...it. And this "holier than thou" stuff I see all the time puts my friends and everybody else like them off from anything having to do with Jesus. See, I just want to love on those guys and girls. Be around them some, let them see me for who I really am, a broken, hopeless, lifeless dude if it were not for Christ. I'm not sayin I am going to go out and get hammered with them to share the Gospel. I'm just sayin I do not want to pretend to be more than I am. I can't and don't want every conversation with them to have to involve Jesus. I love having everyday talk with them. I want them to see Jesus, not puke it up because I have shoved it down their throat so many times with every word I say. I hate talk in a way. Cause more times than not, the people that talk talk talk it, are not balanced enough to walk walk walk it. Yes, there are many opportunities to share Christ, and God provides those times, and the Holy Spirit definitely leads in those times. But, I mean come on "oversaved" people. Ha, my PAO guys will get that.

I love my lost friends because they are broken, they are hopeless, and they are dark. I love them because I know Jesus loves them and because I know He loved me just the same when I was just like them. I never want to forget who I was before Jesus was Lord of my life. I have a compassion for them because the Holy Spirit allows me to see them for who they really are. Without Jesus, they are dead. But, I want them to see how I am alive in Christ, and how He brought me from my brokenness, hopeless depair, and saved me, wiped me clean, and gave me new life. And if they do not see that in me, that one thing that is different in me, then I am just like every Christian that makes me mad, that misrepresents our Lord and Savior.

In the midst of all this stuff I have typed out, I hope to challenge you all to a sense of realness. I cannot do fake anymore. Yes, like I say after all my posts, I am trying to die to myself, and it is still a work in progress. I'm just not gonna claim to be something I am not. I'm not Billy Graham and I'm not Shayne Graham (kicker for the Bengals). I am Todd Martin, I struggle to not be worldly, I let my flesh win a bunch of battles over my spirit, and I cussed yesterday. That is just a few things on a huge list of where I messed up or that I struggle with. I want people to see that I am broken away from Jesus. I want people to see my faults. I want to be open. And I believe whole heartedly that, that is what attracts lost people to a life with Jesus Christ; not having a Bible verse to correlate with every sentence you say, or letting people know you spent this much money on this many things for the Kingdom, or letting them know you pray at least an hour on an off day. I am turned off by that, so I can only imagine that they would be more so. No, see I want them to see how they are not that much different than me, that they are one decision away from being made alive in Jesus Christ, and that they are not as far off course as they think. I want to be real, see through, and open. I challenge you all to be the same. If you already are, then you are steps ahead of me. I hope yall's week has been good. Thank you for letting me share my heart.

trying to die to myself,
-tmart




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Solid work my friend! You bled all over that post and that's my style.

Tanner said...

If anyone is offended by this post then I challenge you to search your heart because Todd just brought the real deal front and center.

Todd, I have often told people not to look at Christians for your view on Christianity but look to Jesus and Jesus alone. Another thing that needs to be brought to attention is the overuse of the word Christian. It has almost become devoid of true meaning. Living in the south, going to church on Sunday, and voting republican does not make you a Christian.

The Bible belt can be a frustrating atmosphere at times and I am just waiting for Nolan to jump in and comment on this as well. One of the reasons we have pushed sermons by Matt Chandler on everyone is because he is all about evangelizing the Bible belt. He sees the same things we are seeing and desires to do something about it.

Todd, your call to be transparent and just keep it real with anyone and everyone is a goal for every one of us to strive toward. And, yes, at times, we need to do a lot less talking and a lot more listening. That was a much needed post to get things going again. Todd, you've become a huge role player in this group and it is truly a blessing to each and every one of us.

Thanks man,

Terry

PS - You don't suck at being a Christian because being a Christian doesn't require you to be good at anything. Grace and mercy requires nothing from you. Praise God!

Tanner said...

Is Todd the only one representing his scheduled day week in and week out? CHALLENGE!!!!!

Nolan Gottlieb said...

Good post...I love the fact that you are recognizing some errors in the status quo for "christians" in the south and that you don't wanna be a part of the fakeness that unfortunately accompanies many folk's walk.

Let me challenge/remind you of a few things...I totally understand the burden you have for loving on your lost friends and I appreciate you wanting to be 110% real with them, but being real with them isn't what attracts them to Christ. Let me phrase it another way just to make a point...If you weren't being real with them would that mean that it would be impossible for them to be attracted to Chirst??? The answer is absolutely NO...

I say all that to say this...nowhere in Scripture does it talk about the "real factor" being the drawing/attractional force in sinner's conversion. Why?? Because that's the work of the Holy Spirit. He calls who he wants and he does that through us proclaiming His Word. He's the one doing all the attracting...not us.

I believe that we, as true Christians, don't need to be trying to be "real", we need to be trying to be Godly and the natural by-product of that is a life that is void of lies and deceit.

We as Christ following believers should always be ready for a chance to SPEAK truth into our friend's lives. The reason is because it is through the true Gospel that the Holy Spirit has chosen to move and work. I agree with you that we don't always have to give a scripture reference after every sentence, but we must communicate the Gospel. Unless we use our "realness" to eventually speak Truth into someone's life then we might as well be fake. We could be the most transparent person in America, but unless the Gospel is proclaimed, the life change will not happen. (Unless, of course, God sends someone else along to share the Gospel that the Holy Spirit will eventually work through)

Be truthful, real, genuine, humble, loving, patient, caring, gentle, etc....and let the Cross of Christ resonate throughout your words and life.

Tanner said...

Nolan, great additions to the ideas of being real and transparent. I mentioned trying to be transparent but your explanation makes way more sense. You are absolutely right in your call to be godly rather than focusing on being real or transparent. The following two paragraphs were dynamite.....

I believe that we, as true Christians, don't need to be trying to be "real", we need to be trying to be Godly and the natural by-product of that is a life that is void of lies and deceit.

Be truthful, real, genuine, humble, loving, patient, caring, gentle, etc....and let the Cross of Christ resonate throughout your words and life.

Love you guys,

Terry

Jules said...

T-Mart - bringing it!

The Glamorous WAHM said...

Thank you for sharing your heart! I've been blasted for "keeping it real" but how can people see Christ working in me, if I try and pretend to be perfect?

I have been put off by many Christians too. We can be some of the most hurtful people on the planet. But, what I always try and remember is that, I am following Christ, not them! Amand!